Evaluation:
Robert 78 and Janet 75 have always dreamed of a home nestled in a quaint essential piece of seclusion where natures fish ponds and the soothing sounds of the wild could relax the weariest of soul. They wanted it so badly that they staked their entire savings to build it. They realized their biological clocks were ticking and with Roberts’s potential health risk, chronologically time may not be on their side.
What made Robert and Janet as compatible couples was their different internal qualities. Robert was introverted; he enjoyed the solace of personal seclusion which no doubt added to his romanticism with Janet. Janet was more extroverted. She enjoyed the social freedom of getting out and seeing people.
Although these qualities are compatible and seen as a plus in many relationships, ongoing long term sickness can play huge factors in maintaining a healthy relationship. The caregiver in the relationship could develop nurse aide burden, a condition that results from excessive burnout where the individual becomes so burden by the responsibilities that they themselves begin to breakdown, and the pattern of depression begins to creep in. The couple’s relationship may become practical and routine where each partner may find it harder to understand each other. This seems to be one indicator within a scenario of events that recoiled in the lives of Robert and Janet.
They both were active Christians in the church before Roberts progressing illness. Robert was an avid fisher which helped him deal with his sickness a lot better with a greater calm. His peace of mind set a good environment for him and Janet within their home.
In time Roberts’s condition worsened making it virtually impossible for him to even wheel himself to his most favorable place in the world, “his fishing pond”. Roberts’s dependence upon Janet grew even more demanding than ever before. The added responsibilities grew heavy on
Janet’s will creating resentment in Janet and stirred arguments over how she should spend her free time.
By spring Robert could not even cast his fishing line into the pond on his own because of the Parkinson disease. Robert and Janet found it more and more difficult to reciprocate each other’s needs in the simplest of need. Janet was slowly losing all humility.
Robert needed professional help and Janet needed rest. With Roberts increasing disability Janet slipped into nurse aide burden and Robert became more reclusive to the point of refusing to attend church with his wife, because of some legitimate general concerns.
Robert and Janet’s counseling came as unintentional and came rather intuitive with the pastor sensing Robert’s absence. It appears that Robert and Janet’s problems went on for weeks before it became a recognizable concern of their pastor.
After briefly counseling Robert the pastor saw through his need for professional attention. Robert’s doctor visits helped to boost his energy and attitude. In time he began to attend church again. It was nearly a year and he gradually lost most of his cognitive abilities while Janet suffered from inductive pains later diagnosed as a heart condition requiring the implementation of open heart surgery.
After much hesitation Janet took the advice of doctors and her pastor to accept the necessary help for herself and Robert. The Pastor set up a systematic plan that involved parishioners of the church to enlist their support in helping Janet and Robert shoulder many of the things they couldn’t do on their own.
The duration of the problem lasted only until Janet received institutionalized assistance within the range of six months when Robert became totally disabled. The majority of the problem was diverted to some degree allowing Janet the space to slowly rebound from a very noticeable depressive state.
The pastor’s visits to the nursing home were periodic and proved very instrumental in giving Robert and Janet some internal peace. However, Janet’s stress progressed with Roberts decline. Her emotions became a roller coaster ride of guilt and shame. After she admitted Robert to the
Pastoral Assessment
In the case of many aging adults the idea of getting old and losing their independence continues to grow in today’s culture as prices continue to loom from an unstable economy. Very few could afford the comfort of assisted living or home health care. Many by the time of retiring and getting old are near abject poverty, barley making ends meet.
When couples grow old together they tend to depend on each other for comfort and support. But when sickness is added to the subsequent of old age it becomes a greater possibility that even with a healthy life’s savings , it may not be sufficient to supply all the comforts of being in a specialized institution that’s adequately staffed and equipped to handle a wider range of relief and comfort than one could receive living at home.
The decision to put a loved one in a nursing home can be one of the most difficult decisions
made by family members in their entire lives. It is almost never easy and family’s typically put it off until long past the time when placement should ideally be made. For a person with a progressive condition like Robert the best time for nursing home placement to occur is when the burden of care giving threatens the health of either the patient or the care giver.
Placement becomes necessary in order to avoid further deterioration of health. Even then the care giver is likely to feel guilty particularly if he or she has been caring for the person for a long time or if there is conflict in the relationship. The healthier the relationship though between the patient and caregiver the less likely that guilt will persist if the patient is admitted to a nursing home.
